Give
Most of us have been in that room. You are sitting at a table with a friend, a neighbor, or a family member, and the conversation drifts toward topics that feel heavy. Maybe it is about gender identity or same-sex marriage. You want to be kind, but you also want to be faithful to what you believe. Suddenly, the tension in the room is thick enough to cut with a knife. You wonder: if I speak my mind, will I lose this relationship? If I stay silent, am I compromising my faith?
It is an uncomfortable space to occupy, but it is a necessary one. We often treat these topics like political battlefields, but we forget that we are not talking about talking points. We are talking about people, people who bear God’s image, people with real hurt, and people who, just like us, are in desperate need of Jesus.
When Jesus was pressed by the Pharisees to take a side in a cultural debate, He did something brilliant. He refused to play their game. He bypassed their narrow traps and took them all the way back to Genesis. In Matthew 19, Jesus reminds us that marriage isn't a human invention we can reshape to fit our current cultural mood. It is a design created by God, one man and one woman in a covenant relationship.
But here is the catch: knowing the standard doesn't give us permission to look down on others. Jesus wasn't trying to create a checklist for moral superiority. He was pointing to a design that reflects God’s heart. When we look at that design, we should grieve when anyone, including ourselves, falls short. The sexual ethic of the Bible isn't just about one specific group; it calls every single one of us to surrender our desires, our pride, and our secret struggles to the Lord.
If we are going to follow Jesus, we have to stop treating people like projects to be fixed. Think about the way Jesus sat at the table with tax collectors and sinners in Matthew 9. When the religious elite demanded to know why he would associate with such "broken" people, Jesus didn't back down. He essentially asked, "How could I not?"
He wanted them to know that mercy is not a feeling, it is a costly, active choice. We have spent too much time standing in the doorway of our own comfortable, righteous circles, pointing fingers at those outside. But real love demands that we know their names, not just their sins. Do you know what makes your neighbor laugh? Do you know what broke their heart last year? If we only save our warmth for people who already look and act like us, we aren't showing the world the love of Jesus. We are showing them a watered-down version of grace that has a fee attached to it.
There is a common fear that if we sit at the table with someone who holds different beliefs, we are somehow endorsing their worldview. But relationships don't erase conviction. You can love someone deeply without affirming every decision they make. In fact, if your love only shows up when someone agrees with you, it was never really love in the first place.
As we grow in our faith, we have to hold the tension between truth and grace. This doesn't mean we compromise the Bible to avoid being offensive. It means we have the courage to walk with people through the messiness of life. When you truly care about someone, you eventually reach a point where you love them too much to leave them in the dark. But that truth must be spoken with a heart that has already been humbled at the foot of the cross.
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is this: you are not the Holy Spirit. You don't have to drag people to Jesus kicking and screaming. Your job is to be faithful to Christ, love your neighbor with everything you have, and trust that God is the one who transforms hearts.
Next time you find yourself in a conversation that feels overwhelming, ask yourself two simple questions:
- What response most faithfully reflects the heart of Christ?
- What decision points this person closer to the cross?
Start there. Don't worry about having all the perfect, theological answers today. Just focus on being a human who loves, a neighbor who listens, and a follower of Jesus who knows exactly how much grace you have received.
Listen to the full sermon below.
